i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
