He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pants are for mortals
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize