there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
