So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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