Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
