Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
