As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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