someone threw a dead crab at me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize