Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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