He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
