Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
