I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
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You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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