My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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