Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
is wine microwaveable?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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