You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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