i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
