ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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