Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Actions speak louder than pants.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
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So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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