hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
