just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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