my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
