lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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