I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
