we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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