I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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