Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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