So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
