Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
