How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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