we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
