I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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