I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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