i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
