Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone shattered a urinal.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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