So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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