Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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