The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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