remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize