so that wasnt chicken after all
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
