I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
