His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
