She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I want to fling myself into the sun
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
