Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
