guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
