Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize