I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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