whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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