that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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