There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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