I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
