So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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