The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
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Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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