How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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