we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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