so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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