u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
