Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
