She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
