She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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