Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
