saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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