shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize