There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
