just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
