Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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