Me too!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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