3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
